Love Affairs in Marriages
Recently, there are more and more affairs in marriages on the news. According to research, Taiwan is the No.1 in the rate of divorce. Besides, the main reason is Love Affair for it. With tools of communication developing rapidly, it seems to have no way to escape from the affairs if you or your lover really wants to do it. However, it depends on different kinds of situations of the couple. Love affairs happen for reasons.
As we know, having love affairs becomes a kind of common phenomenon. No matter how high or low one’s social status is, he or she is very likely to have an affair outside of the marriage. Let’s take the recent sensation, Washington Nationals pitcher Chien-Ming Wang, for example, the Taiwan’s biggest celebrity held a news conference in Florida, where he admitted to Taiwanese reporters that he had an extra-marital affair in 2010 and apologized for it after Apple Daily published a couple of photos of him with a woman called Cyndi. Wang explained the eight-month fling started in 2009 when he had the shoulder surgery, which made him feel hopeless. In Wang’s opinion, he had the affair only due to his frustration during the time of his rehabilitation. Though Wang expressed how sorry he felt, he has already hurt his wife and son deeply. His fans supporting him the most are really disappointed about his behavior. Our question is: Is lack of will possible and reasonable to be the reason why he had the affair? Can pressure really transform a nice guy into one who does not care about his family and cheat them?
There are several reasons that cause many men to have love affairs while in marriage. Firstly, according to a marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, the author of The Truth about Cheating, emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated is the main reason that causes men cheat on their spouses. "Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that," M. Gary Neuman said as well. Life is not a fairy tale. When people get married, there are a lot of complicated things to deal with. For instance, pressures of daily life, stress at work and even different opinions on raising children. Without good communication as well as appreciation for each other, those problems could easily cause a sense of disconnection between husbands and wives. Therefore, as long as the right time or occasion comes, some husbands may want to find some consolation from other women and then make a very serious mistake in marriage.
The second reason that causes men cheat on their spouses may be loneliness. Due to the traditional social identity, males are often taught that they should be strong as well as tough in both physical and mental status. They cannot shed tears in front of people or reveal their true feelings to others. Once they do such things, those men might be considered weak or lack of masculinity. Therefore, when husbands encounter some difficulties or feel stressed out and upset in life, most men tend to hide their feelings and be not willing to express their emotions. Gradually, it results in a sense of emptiness and solitude because they have no one to talk to. If a man really wants to find someone to share their feelings, an unfamiliar woman could be a good choice since talking about the inner feelings with the other half is too embarrassing. Also, he may feel that he loses his own dignity in front of his wife. Consequently, we can say that a love affair starts from loneliness.
The third reason that men be unfaithful to their spouses may be seeking for excitement in marriage. To some men, having a romance while in marriage is something acceptable, also being with their wives all the time is a little boring. Those married men have nothing to talk to or share with their wives; however, a girl who they meet outside of the house is totally different. What the girl can provide or satisfy their needs is something those married men cannot find in their wives. It can be consolation, a sense of belonging or physical need. In a word, those husbands can find something new as well as excitement in daily life by being with women who they meet outside of the house.
In Wang’s case, the despair in his baseball career, pressures of recovery from injury and the expectation of all his fans around the world made Wang want to run away from his real life. During Wang’s most difficult time, he met Cyndi and started to date with her. This woman became Wang’s temporary shelter. Then these two developed a secret relationship and finally this Taiwanese baseball player cheated on his wife.
It seems that the aforementioned causes are proper reasons. And having an affair also seems reasonable. However, there are severe effects and impacts on people and family. From small influence to serious impact, the effects can be classified into following categories:
Health Problems: No one knows that it is too dangerous to have an affair. If he has had a sexual relationship with her, it means that he already had the sex relationship with her sex partners who already had sex with her within ten years. It symbolizes that it is very easy to get sex disease, such as AIDS. The most serious problem is that he maybe continued to have a sexual relationship with his wife and in the end; his wife may get the disease unjustly. We all know that this kind of the disease is a nightmare and is hard to cure. The sufferer will have to endure severe pain for the rest of her life. It’s not worth it to have an affair and risk one’s life.
Heart-Broken: After he has had an affair in marriages, His wife will suffer heart-broken the most. He has promised to love the other till die but nothing remains now. In the marriage, he has to be loyal to his beloved wife. But now all are lies. Not only his partner but also the children will suffer when they know their kind and great father has had an affair. More seriously, when the children grow up, they might make the same mistake—having an affair. At that time, there will be a vicious circle; they harm their lovers and their children as well. For Chien-Ming Wang, he also has broken every fan’s heart. Everybody trusts him and saw him as a model, but now all seems different.
Discredit: Chien-Ming Wang is a famous baseball player, he was known as “The glory of Taiwan.” His reputation has kept for a long time until he did the very wrong thing—had an affair with Cyndi. From that moment, his glory and sparkle on him all vanished. Trust also has been ruined by his own irresponsible deeds. In addition, He lost the opportunity to be a representative to many brands. He brought discredit not only to his family but also to Taiwan
To sum up, the impacts of having an affair on Chien-Ming Wang, his family, the fans, and Taiwan are so serious and painful. As a result, it’s the last thing for anyone to do.
Everything happens for a reason. Everyone in marriage should think more than twice when you are almost making a mistake or when you are close to make a mistake. Care about the families related to you especially yours. Chien-Ming Wang is the most notable example to understand it. Most important of all, respect your family and yourself and release your pressure or negative thoughts in right ways.
